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Bye bye, 2001.
Dec. 31st, 2001 08:41 amAm I the son I think I am?
Am I the friend I think I am?
Am I the man I think I want to be?
Okay, so it used to be an annual tradition of mine to sort of write myself a letter sometime around each New Year, summing up the past year and outlining where I'd like to go in the new one. Not so much a resolution thing as a reminder of where I've come from and where I want to go, you know? Personally I think that any time of year is just fine for resolutions, and in fact one's birthday is probably a better time than New Year's anyway, symbolically. But still, the turning of the calendar is a pretty good opportunity to size oneself up again, sort of like how you're supposed to change your smoke detector batteries every time the time changes. But anyway. I sort of got out of the habit of it a few years ago, but I figure this is a good place to start the tradition again. So.
2001.. let's see. I started the year in Florida, but only for a few hours--I worked my last shift at Time Warner on New Year's Day and then hopped in the truck to finish moving up here to Nashville. And in between then and now, I've learned quite a bit, I'm happy to report. And I'm even happier to report that I have a place of my own again, though that too is about to change because I also managed to find some love up here, and we're going to try sharing a place. This year I also learned more about false friends, and to listen to the little voice in your head that says you really shouldn't be associated with certain people. And lastly I learned a great deal more about what bastards car dealers are, on the whole.
But that's all the water under the bridge. Here's what I want for 2002. I guess first and foremost I'd like to get my financial situation squared away. I'm not in good shape right now, and for me that means pretty terrible shape. I hope with Heather moving in things will get a lot better and I can catch up. I don't even expect her to contribute much, but every little bit helps. And who knows, maybe her job will turn out to pay even more than I make! That would actually be nice. :) So there's that. So next, once I'm better monetarily, I'd like to get back to school this year, at least a little bit. My job is going to offer tuition reimbursement, and I need to take advantage of that and finally get around to making something worthwhile of me. Especially now that I have more reason than just myself to do so. And while I'm on that tip, I almost always resolve to be creative, even if only a tiny little bit, each day of the new year. I always fall through, but I resolve it again--every day I'd like to create something, whether it's a song or a poem or a fragment of either or a stick-figure drawing.. I don't care, just *something* every day.
And finally, and perhaps above all else, I want to change who I am a bit. I want to be a better person than I am. A better friend, a better son and brother, a better lover, a better potential husband and father.. just better. I want to be more financially responsible. I want to do a better job at keeping in touch with my family and friends. I want to stop telling lies, small and harmless or not, which I do simply to avoid rough waters (and generally end up in rougher waters anyway). I want to read and learn more. I just want to be a better person, for me, for Heather, for everyone I know and love. I live in a pretty crappy world at times, but it's still so damn beautiful. I want to be part of the beauty, part of the light. At least no longer part of the problem.
So we sum up, then. 2001: okay year, starting and ending with pretty significant changes. 2002: should be pretty good, if I can get some things accomplished. Create something every day. Learn something every day. Put Heather and others ahead of myself as more of a rule than an exception. Get to be who I want to be.
And remember Emerson: It is never too late to become the person you always could have been.
Am I the friend I think I am?
Am I the man I think I want to be?
Okay, so it used to be an annual tradition of mine to sort of write myself a letter sometime around each New Year, summing up the past year and outlining where I'd like to go in the new one. Not so much a resolution thing as a reminder of where I've come from and where I want to go, you know? Personally I think that any time of year is just fine for resolutions, and in fact one's birthday is probably a better time than New Year's anyway, symbolically. But still, the turning of the calendar is a pretty good opportunity to size oneself up again, sort of like how you're supposed to change your smoke detector batteries every time the time changes. But anyway. I sort of got out of the habit of it a few years ago, but I figure this is a good place to start the tradition again. So.
2001.. let's see. I started the year in Florida, but only for a few hours--I worked my last shift at Time Warner on New Year's Day and then hopped in the truck to finish moving up here to Nashville. And in between then and now, I've learned quite a bit, I'm happy to report. And I'm even happier to report that I have a place of my own again, though that too is about to change because I also managed to find some love up here, and we're going to try sharing a place. This year I also learned more about false friends, and to listen to the little voice in your head that says you really shouldn't be associated with certain people. And lastly I learned a great deal more about what bastards car dealers are, on the whole.
But that's all the water under the bridge. Here's what I want for 2002. I guess first and foremost I'd like to get my financial situation squared away. I'm not in good shape right now, and for me that means pretty terrible shape. I hope with Heather moving in things will get a lot better and I can catch up. I don't even expect her to contribute much, but every little bit helps. And who knows, maybe her job will turn out to pay even more than I make! That would actually be nice. :) So there's that. So next, once I'm better monetarily, I'd like to get back to school this year, at least a little bit. My job is going to offer tuition reimbursement, and I need to take advantage of that and finally get around to making something worthwhile of me. Especially now that I have more reason than just myself to do so. And while I'm on that tip, I almost always resolve to be creative, even if only a tiny little bit, each day of the new year. I always fall through, but I resolve it again--every day I'd like to create something, whether it's a song or a poem or a fragment of either or a stick-figure drawing.. I don't care, just *something* every day.
And finally, and perhaps above all else, I want to change who I am a bit. I want to be a better person than I am. A better friend, a better son and brother, a better lover, a better potential husband and father.. just better. I want to be more financially responsible. I want to do a better job at keeping in touch with my family and friends. I want to stop telling lies, small and harmless or not, which I do simply to avoid rough waters (and generally end up in rougher waters anyway). I want to read and learn more. I just want to be a better person, for me, for Heather, for everyone I know and love. I live in a pretty crappy world at times, but it's still so damn beautiful. I want to be part of the beauty, part of the light. At least no longer part of the problem.
So we sum up, then. 2001: okay year, starting and ending with pretty significant changes. 2002: should be pretty good, if I can get some things accomplished. Create something every day. Learn something every day. Put Heather and others ahead of myself as more of a rule than an exception. Get to be who I want to be.
And remember Emerson: It is never too late to become the person you always could have been.
